So I'm finally working on a book called "How to Tame Your Spirited Child". It fits DD to a tee. It's basically the nice way of calling your kid what he/she really is: the hellion out-of-control problem child, that without the proper parenting/handling could turn into the next Jim Jones. But WITH the proper parenting, by golly, you could have the next Bill Gates on your hands!
Sheesh. I really feel like I have to kick the parenting up a notch now. Before 2, it's making sure the basic needs are met. Now I have to deal with personality issues, which is extremely hard since I'm still dealing with my own personality issues.
I should confess at this point, maybe to face reality head-on, that I feel like my role as homemaker and mom is spiraling out of control. Maybe it's PPD, maybe it's SAD, maybe it's just years of repressed depression, or maybe it's a dormant personality disorder that's rearing its ugly head. I can barely get anything done around the house. I manage to get my kids dressed in the mornings, but most days I'm lucky to change out of what I wore to bed the night before. Granted, those fleece pants are way more comfy and warm than jeans, but the required effort to do anything is just gone.
I have been seeing a counselor, and I have been on meds. The meds have definitely been helping, and the counselor is awesome. I'm still struggling on getting rid of my apparent laziness. I felt so energized a few months ago even to hit the ground running with the photography venture, but now I feel stalled. I don't know which way to go, and I can always come up with an excuse. The house should be organized and cleaned first. I need to be a parent first.
I often feel DD is out of control because of the house. Now, we're not even close to reaching alarming "Horders" levels, but I'm surrounded by my crap everywhere. I haven't seen the top of my dresser in months. I only just unearthed my bathroom counter. I'm getting frustrated with DD (but really at myself) every time she touches something of mine because it's accessible to her, when it clearly should be someplace more appropriate and not so within her reach. Fear not, it's not like I have open containers of Draino laying around. More like hair styling products and makeup. I've caught DD all dolled up looking like Heath Ledger's Joker more times than I'd like to admit. She knows makeup, she knows (mostly) where to put it on her face, and she wears it about as well as I would wear a pair of skinny jeans.
Anyway, how much of my frustrations are because I have a spirited child, and how much are because I feel disengaged until I need to jump in and stop my spirited child from getting into something that shouldn't have been there in the first place?
Maybe talking about it and holding myself more accountable will help.
2 comments:
This winter has been tough... I think I'm kind of borderline with the whole SAD thing and seriously, the last few weeks have been the worst. I'm unmotivated and tired, my house is a disaster, I'm behind on everything... I think spring will do us ALL some good!!
As for the spirited child thing. You'll find your groove. The kinds of kids really do have some amazingly wonderful qualities to counter the hard stuff. :) Btw, I double checked and the book I read was "Raising Your Spirited Child"... it's a good one too if you want to check it out when you're done with the other one!
It's "hoarders" (not "horders"), and "comfier" and "warmer," not "more comfy and warm." If you're going to publish, try to be professional.
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